Here's a little excerpt for you. Enjoy!
Le excerpt:
Prologue
Roman
Bradford had heard the rumors more times than he cared to remember in
the past month. He’d heard them from his partners, close friends, a few
acquaintances, his accountant, and even from the attendants at his gym.
He
had ignored them every single time. He’d refused to believe. He’d been
eager to move forward. His future was looking promising again. He hadn’t
wanted anything to get between him and Derrick, the man who had
captivated his attention from the moment they met.
For
a little over four years Roman had admired him from afar. He’d watched
Derrick become comfortable in his recently acquired attorney’s skin.
He’d watched him grow confident, earn promotions, and win impossible
cases while Roman’s personal life fell apart.
He’d collected the pieces.
He was ready to start again.
It
wasn’t until very recently that he’d acted on his attraction for
Derrick. Even though he was free to do so, he forced himself to consider
carefully the possible ramifications of getting involved with one of
his employees. If things went sour between them and Derrick turned out
to be vindictive, Roman could get sued for sexual harassment or
misconduct at the very least. He knew
this, and after the debacle of the past few months and consequent
distress, the last thing he wanted was to risk a similar mess. Yet he’d
been unable to resist going after him.
Roman
was rather subtle in his pursuit of Derrick. The lingering, veiled
glances during the two hour monthly meeting with the firm’s associates
and the coincidental encounters in the building’s lobby, the cafeteria,
and court, had progressed to casually running into him in Central Park
during their lunch break for the past eight days. They’d gotten to know
each other better during their conversations. The attraction was mutual
and almost palpable, and Roman didn’t doubt for a second they were
compatible in every important way. Things were going so well between
them that he’d decided the previous night it was time to take the next
step and ask Derrick out to dinner and maybe the ballet. Hell. He even
wanted Derrick to be his date to his parents’ dinner party in three
days.
But
those damn rumors had been waiting for him when he got to his office in
the morning. They’d been louder than ever, too… so loud it was
impossible to ignore them anymore.
Roman
shook off his preoccupied thoughts and glanced around him. The Pond was
one of his favorite places in the city. A little piece of heaven smack
in the middle of his demanding world. It never ceased to amaze him how
easily he could find solitude here despite the hundreds of people that
walked by the water’s edge every day.
He
watched the ducks in the water and regarded the trees that would soon
start changing colors. Once again he marveled at the beauty and
simplicity of the Gapstow Bridge, then closed his eyes and blocked
everything. He was a bundle of nerves. Today, more than ever, he needed
to soak in the peacefulness that surrounded him.
“Have you decided on a present for your parents’ wedding anniversary yet?”
Roman
shifted his body toward the man who had managed to make him feel so
much in such a short amount of time and tried to give him his undivided
attention. Talking to Derrick was an absolute pleasure, and in addition
to being physically perfect in Roman’s eyes, he was also sensible and
genuine.
“I’m
going to take your advice and give them a vacation to some exotic
destination.” He brushed off a few crumbs from Derrick’s tie and smiled
when he noticed him shudder.
“Asia? Somewhere in Europe?”
“My
mother goes shopping in Paris once a month,” Roman said with a fond
smile. “She still tries to drag me along with her to carry her bags
whenever my dad refuses to follow her around.”
“It won’t be easy to surprise her and your father, then.”
“I think the Machu Picchu ruins in Peru would be nice.”
“Have you been there?”
“I
went with Alan and Sergio when we were still in law school.” He took
his glasses off and put them in the pocket of his suit jacket. “Mom
loved the pictures we took. That’s why I think she’d enjoy it.”
“From
what you’ve told me I get the impression she’d enjoy a week in the
jungle with no plumbing, as long as she’s with your father.”
“They’re inseparable.”
“Forty-five
years together,” Derrick said wistfully. “Almost a lifetime spent with
the one person they promised to love forever.” He sighed deeply. “Your
parents are very lucky, Roman.”
“What about your parents?” Roman asked. “Are they still together?”
“No. They weren’t as fortunate.” He shook his head slowly. “Not like they didn’t want to. I mean, they loved each other so much…
My mom chose my dad over her own family, a career, and a very
comfortable life. Like your parents, they wanted to die together, but it
wasn’t meant to happen that way.”
Derrick
glanced at him shyly from under thick, long lashes, probably thinking
it was too soon to be sharing such personal details. He smiled at the
guy, encouraging him to continue. Derrick’s candor was one of his most
endearing personality traits, and Roman would hate it if all of a sudden
he started feeling self-conscious.
“Papa
didn’t have an education, you know? He worked as a janitor at Columbia
University. That’s where they met, when Mama was a freshman. She wanted
to be a lawyer, but my grandparents cut her off when she refused to end
their relationship. She moved with Papa to his tiny apartment and never
looked back. Papa worked so hard to provide for us… We didn’t have
money, but we were happy.” He blinked rapidly, but his tears didn’t
disappear. “Mama got very sick with lupus when I was a twelve. She
didn’t make it.”
Roman
resisted the urge to reach out and hug Derrick. It was too soon for
that kind of gesture. “I’m sorry to hear that,” was all he said.
“They
had a good run, but instead of enjoying his marriage, Papa had to be
strong for us kids and watch the woman he loved die slowly.” Derrick
grabbed a napkin from his lunch bag and wiped the few tears that were
now spiking up his lashes. “I respect him so much for it. I don’t know
if I could do the same if I were in his position. I don’t know that I
could deal with watching the love of my life waste away. Christ, I’m a
terribly selfish person, aren’t I?”
Roman’s
heart dropped to his stomach when he heard those words, but his voice
sounded normal when he tried to re-assure Derrick. He might not like the
guy’s reluctance to be with someone who was sick, but he understood it.
“It
wasn’t only your father watching a loved one die. She was your mother,
too, and you were a kid. That had to be a very traumatic, painful
experience for you and your siblings.”
“It was.” He smiled a little. “Thank you for listening to me blab.”
“I
always look forward to hearing you talk about whatever you want.” Roman
caressed Derrick’s cheek softly with the back of his hand. “So blab
away. I don’t mind.”
“You
sure about that?” Derrick’s flirty smile made Roman’s heart skip a few
beats. “Because I think I’d like to talk your pretty ears off every
chance I get.”
“Sounds like a great plan,” Roman admitted, returning the smile.
“Yeah?”
That
seemingly innocent question almost knocked Roman flat on his back. So
much desire was packed in it; so much expectation and hope. His feelings
weren’t one-sided. Derrick was along for the ride, and Roman was so
happy he could’ve jumped up and down, if only his mind wasn’t plagued by
doubts.
It can’t be true It can’t be true It can’t be true…
Roman put his almost untouched grilled chicken wrap inside the bag. “I need to get back to the office,” he said quietly.
Derrick frowned. “Is there something wrong?”
A hysterical chuckle almost escaped Roman.
Where to begin…
Apprehension had him by the balls. He also had a sore throat, a headache, and swollen lymph nodes. He felt like crap.
“Roman?” Derrick’s beautiful amber eyes were clouded with uneasiness and concern. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No!” he rushed to say. “Of course you didn’t.”
“Then what is it?
Roman looked away and cursed under his breath. “I might be getting a cold,” he said in a louder tone.
“I can get you some tea if you want.”
“No, no… It’s fine… I’m fine… Look, I need to go now. There’s something I have to do.”
Derrick
grabbed Roman’s hand to stop him from getting up and he obliged, hoping
this wouldn’t be the last time he was so close to the other man.
“Can you please tell me what’s going on?” Derrick almost begged.
Roman
couldn’t say a word. Uncertainty had gotten a hold of him and it was
making him sick to his stomach. He wished he didn’t have to go, but as
much as he liked the guy, Roman knew he wouldn’t be able to even look at
Derrick again until he’d found out whether the rumors he’d been hearing
were true.
Don’t let it be true, please… Don’t let it be true…
He pulled his hand from that soft, firm grip he wanted to feel all over his body, and took several steps back. “I need to go.”
“Will you be back tomorrow?”
Derrick
was trying not to sound hurt, but Roman heard it in his voice anyway.
He saw it in his eyes. And because he couldn’t offer an honest answer,
he chose to not say anything at all. He just turned around and walked
away from what he knew was his second chance at love, hopefully not
forever.
Please God… Please. Don’t let this be the last time I talk to him.
